Mystery Missile Rockets its Way into Our Hearts

America’s all abuzz about the Mystery Missile; the one launched off the Los Angeles coast yesterday to the surprise of everyone.  A news team snapped a picture of the missile making it clear this isn’t just an Estes rocket launched by a loving astronomy-minded father and son.  It’s the real deal.  A big boy.  And the American Government apparently has no idea who launched it and why.  Which is, you know…

Comforting.

As a result we’re not left with a lot of options.  The UFO freaks are out, of course, saying it’s something to do with space aliens.  So are the conspiracy theorists, because whenever the government says it knows nothing it’s obviously a lie.  And then there’s Canada.  I think it’s about time we stopped trusting our “friends” from the North.  Any sign of a maple leaf on that missile?

Of course there might be a more down to earth answer.  One involving a certain Limejuiceboy and a nickname in college??? 

I am ze Mystery Missile!

You be the judge!

–Cap’n Blackjack