Archive for the ‘Twerp Island’ Category

Twerp Island: The newest volcanic eruption.

February 6, 2010 Leave a comment

Welcome, my child.

It doesn’t happen often here at The Island that a new Island spews forth from the cracks of the Earth. But when it does, boy howdy! Think of the possibilites! With a less-than strict policy, our newest Island can be inhabited by all sorts of wonderous things!

Actually, no, we take this very seriously. If you are going to be putting someone, or something, onto Twerp Island, you better be prepared to make your case or suffer the consequences.

No, that’s not true. You don’t have to make much of a case to banish a twerp. There’s a general consensus among us non-twerps about twerps: everyone can see one from a mile away. They can’t hide. They go about their business among us. But we all know who they are.

Twerp Island Inhabitant #1: Pat Sajak.


I have watched my fair share of Wheel, and everytime I watch, Pat gives me the willies. He’s smarmy, makes bad jokes, borderline sexual harrasses Vanna (bless her soul) on a daily basis and hasn’t stepped into a gym in his life. I’m convinced he sits in a bathroom and traps farts in glass bottles.


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