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The American Football Jets vs Colts: We Meet Again

January 5, 2011 Leave a comment

Oooo, feels good, yeah...uh huh....

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Categories: Game Over Island Tags: , , , ,

The AFC Championship: We decide, continued!: J-E-T-S!

January 22, 2010 1 comment

I hate this guy...

My colleague CapnBlackjack is taking the side of the Colts, because he thinks they are the lesser of two evils. But as Mae West once said “When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.”

Now you're on the trolley!

So here I am, rooting for the J-E-T-S, JETS, JETS, JETS! And actually, I do want them to win this game, for a few reasons:

1) The last time these teams played each other, the Colts pulled their starters because football is a tough game and nobody wants an injury, wahhh! Payback is a bitch, Indy and I don’t care what anyone says, there IS karma in football.

2) The Manning Face. Love to see it, want to see it, will see it.

3) I want the J-E-T-S to have the most crushing loss possible and in order for that to happen, they have to make it to Miami and lose to either Favre–dear god, no..unless a Super Bowl makes you go away for good this time– or the Saints (the only team left I can honestly cheer for).

4) I want to see Hog Fat Loudmouth (for those of you who don’t know, that’s the name of the Jets coach–it’s on his birth certificate, I swear!) cry on national TV and go into an eating-binge at the local rib shack, gain so much weight he can’t get out of bed and has to wash himself with a rag on a stick.

5) It’s worth mentioning again: I want the JETS to lose in the Super Bowl. Badly. And they will.

Isn't that right, Suzy?

-Limejuiceboy

The AFC Championship: NFL’s Version of a Turd Sandwich vs. a Giant Douche. We Decide!

January 22, 2010 1 comment

Colts vs. Jets.  Jets vs. Colts.  Let’s face it.  They both suck.  But this weekend, those of us that follow the NFL must make a near-impossible choice:  The Chicken-Clucking Pitchman or the Hog Fat Loudmouth?

My vote:  Chicken-Clucking Pitchman.

Brrrrr-CAW!

Now, this isn’t so much a vote for the Colts.  I hate the Colts.  Oh wait, let me clarify.  I mean, I HATE the stupid effing Colts.  I hate their players, I hate their gay-hating coaches, I hate their piped-in crowd noise, I hate their pansy-ass turf-laden stadiums, I hate their stupid fans, and I hate that damn Peyton Manning.

But I hate the Jets more.

Maybe that comes from my across-the-board hatred for all New York sports teams.  I love New York, as the saying goes, but I hate their stupid teams.  The Yankees especially, but that should go without saying.  I hate those effing lucky-ass Giants too (you can go straight to hell, Tyree, and you’re an overrated pug, Eli).

The Jets?  Well, they’ve been fun to beat up on all these years, but c’mon.  Cinderella story?  Sanchez and his magical poise?  (How many interceptions does poise get you these days anyway?)  Hog fat Rex Ryan jiggling and blubbering?  This team is a joke and this ride must come to an end.  Yes, their defense is fantastic and Revis scares the hell out of me, but this is one soap opera that needs to go on hiatus.

You don’t deserve to be here, New York.

Go home and get back to what you do best.  Lose.

–Cap’n Blackjack

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